Last night I had a hankering to watch the excellent Danny Kaye movie The Court Jester again. Hence the title: “Plan one,” says Basil Rathbone’s fiendish Ravenhurst: “The untimely demise of my lords Brockhurst, Finsdale, and Pertwee.” “Three for tonight,” Kaye replies, in his hypnotic state. “Proceed.”

Well, here’s my three for tonight: kind of in response to Cracked’s rather wonderful Tech Zombies: 6 technologies that don’t know they’re dead (and hey - I use the phonebook frequently), here’s three that ought to be dead.

dot Net

Java

Flash

So there you are - my opinion on why three widely-used technologies should be taken out the back and shot. What do you think?

The other day I downloaded and installed Windows Vista Service Pack 1 Release Candidate.

Big mistake.

What had been a very reliable, happy computer, turned into a crash-prone bug monster.  Windows Explorer didn’t start properly (no response from the start menu, system tray or task bar); when killed and restarted with Task Manager the system generally had about four or five minutes before locking up completely.  And disk usage was through the roof - it reminded me of the classic “swap of death” that plagued Windows 3…  until it seized completely, of course, with even the mouse pointer frozen to the screen.

After about my seventh or eighth reboot, without being able to actually use my computer, I decided to uninstall the service pack.  Which, without being able to get to control panel very easily, was a bit challenging.  Eventually, I restarted in safe mode and used system restore to get it back off.

This doesn’t bode well, I’m thinking.  Microsoft have already released a “release candidate refresh“, which apparently solves only installation issues. Well, ironically, I didn’t have any issues installing - I just downloaded the offline version and it sat there and did it; it’s only after it was installed that the problems started.

I don’t remember a service pack causing a problem before XP service pack 2, which completely destroyed the installation on my fiancee’s computer, necessitating a nice clean re-install.  I’m hoping that SP 1 doesn’t do the same for Vista.  But I’m by no means convinced that it won’t.

Oh, and before you ask, I have now gone back to non-SP1 Vista.  And everything is running along very nicely again, thank you very for asking.

The networking in Vista is just a little bit too complex these days.  I remember when Windows for Workgroups came out, and we could all share files across a LAN easily…

Well I just can’t work it out in Vista any more, or XP for that matter.  Just too many firewall/UAC/security things going on.

So my quick and dirty solution?

The cuddly, fluffy and open source Filezilla server.  (*sigh*)

Still, good to see 1970s protocols still work as well as they ever did 

To redress the balance from yesterday, I promised a list of ten things I like about Vista.  So here we go…

Oh, and please - no emails telling me it was copied from OS X or Plan 9 or wherever. I’m trying to keep things simple here by comparing Windows to Windows, not Windows to everything else. Let’s save that discussion for later.

1. Start menu
   I like the ability to start typing on the start menu and find the program I’m looking for that way.
2. Internet connection icon
   Nice to be able to see in the system tray when I’m connected to the Internet. Shame it doesn’t work properly, and downgrades my access to local only, when machines on the same LAN are working fine, but hey - you can’t have everything. (Okay, enough of that - let’s stay positive. Move on…)
3. Games
   The revamped Spider Solitaire, Freecell and so on are quite nice to look at, but the real improvement is the improved undo. Finally, you can undo the move that broke a game, or go back right to the start of a game if you want to, or undo a deal in Spider Solitaire. Nice to see something working again. (Putting LAN play back into Hearts would be nice though. Oh, I said I wasn’t going to do that any more, didn’t I?)
4. Installer
   Surprisingly, the installer for Vista is much simpler, and safer to use. Too many times I’ve had to reinstall operating systems because of various software or hardware problems, but if something goes wrong on installation, you can usually roll back to the previous version of the operating system. Nice.
5. Ease of access centre
   Accessibility is much better in Vista, and finally there’s no chance that some irritating sysadmin won’t install it - always a pain for techies trying to support someone who needs the narrator or magnifier.
6. Speech recognition
   Finally, no need to shell out another 75 big ones on Dragon Dictate to make a few Word documents. (Although isn’t Vista more than 75 notes more expensive than… sorry, I’m at it again!)
7. Volume controls for each application
   Probably the reason why DirectX 10 lost hardware-accelerated audio. For everything there’s a trade-off, I suppose, and the app-specific volume level can be exceptionally useful. That said, I’d like an option to choose between accelerated audio and this one, even if it meant rebooting to do it.
8. Better power management
   It’s been needed for a while, and although there are some problems with it, at least finally there is a consistent interface for it, and the management tools are a bit better than most vendor tools I’ve used.
9. System Configuration Utility
   A bit hidden (it’s in Administrative Tools), but I’ve seen people selling shareware utilities that don’t even do what this one does.  You can edit boot.ini nice and safely,  switch services on and off and edit what programs run at startup.  I’m sure you can think of several utilities out there that do pretty much what I’ve just described, only they cost a tenner or so…
10. Enhanced disk manager
    I know, this is going to sound a bit odd: after all, it’s hardly Partition Magic, is it?  That said, it’s quite useful sometimes to be able to just make the odd change without having to boot into it.  (Especially since I haven’t upgraded PM since version 5, which doesn’t handle Vista’s version of NTFS…)

Well, there’s the balancing list.  Anything on there you agree or disagree with?

OK, my last post was about DirectX 10,  and why I thought it might be Microsoft’s biggest mistake of all time.  So now I revert to the pair of posts I was originally going to make: 10 things I do and don’t like about Vista.  I’m doing this one first out of laziness because I now have only 9 to do 

1. Performance
   Vista is slower than XP, which in turn was slower than Windows 2000.  It does feel funny running a 2GHz processor that used to run XP as fast as lightning, and having it perform like the older PC upstairs running Windows 2000.  Worse, Service Pack 1 won’t fix it, either.
2. Internet Explorer 7
   It’s not much faster or better than Internet Explorer 6, and yet it manages to claw its way back to the front every now and again and displace Firefox as default browser.  Naughty.
   Oh, and of course, there’s  always the fact that they’ve changed the rendering engine significantly to eliminate some, but not all of the rendering problems with IE.  So we just have another version of IE to test everything against.  Thanks for that.
3. DirectX 10
   Well, as I said yesterday…
4. Aero
   I like being able to choose the colours of things.  It gives me a feeling that there’s an area of my life, however small, where I have some control.  Now I get a single colour to change, and the only one that looks good is the black.  And even when you do that you still can’t change the highlight colour. Reminds me of the quote from Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy about black buttons with black writing on a black background lighting up black when you press them…
5. Windows Media Player
   Yet again, another one that keeps snooping on you.  While I use VLC to counter most of its DRM infested  horribleness,  it’s still embedded in things like Channel 4’s 4oD. Which is still, currently, better than the BBC’s effort.
6. User Account Control
   When you try to do anything to your PC, like install software, you have to wade through half a dozen inconsistent prompts (allow the program or cancel? Continue or cancel). Then sometimes it will fail because of permissions anyway and you have to start again, as administrator.
   You can tun it off, of course, but then the Security Centre will sit there and irritate you instead…
7. Disk Defragmenter
   There used to be visual feedback on the defrag. It used to be quite fascinating (in a monotonous sort of way) to sit back and watch the show. Now a little dialog box sits there. Or, the defrag kicks in late at night, halfway through that late-night gaming session you already know you shouldn’t be having. This is especially true during racing games, especially the ones that make you do an entire quarter-hour race without saving, so that defrag can kick in and slow the machine to a crawl on the last lap, the first time you’re leading the race, so you end up flipping three times in the air and coming last.
   Not that I’m bitter, you understand.
8. Cleartype
   Supposedly, it makes it much easier to see the fonts by adding more smoothing, designed for LCD screens. (All right, I know this one came in with XP Media Centre edition, but hear me out.) You can’t tune it (at least not that I’ve found) without a third-party addon. You can, of course, turn it off - which looks fine on CRTs, but looks a little bit worse on LCDs. Why provide the feature without the ability to make it work properly? Unless Microsoft get paid by a sinister secret society of corrupt ophthalmologists, of course…
9. Automatic Updates
   Some of us have download limits with our ISPs (actually, don’t we all nowadays?) So when automatic updates downloaded a 50MB service pack for Visual Studio 2005 Express Edition - when I had it on my USB drive already - I wasn’t best pleased.
10. Windows Explorer
    I didn’t rank this list, but if I had, this would be number one. The rewrite seems to have made it much slower, it has so many toolbars around it that it takes forever to change folder, there’s nothing displayed in the title bar (I mean, ever - what’s up with that?), the twisty things next to folders fade in and out with disconcerting ease. And worst of all, the wait for the CD to spin up as soon as you launch Explorer with a CD in is still there, continuing a Windows tradition of annoying people that dates back to Windows 95 release 1.

Worst of all, of course, there are plenty of others that could have made this list: Security Centre, Windows Genuine Advantage, Vista’s in-build CD burning features.  I could go on, but I’m sure everyone could make a list like this just like me.  However, tomorrow, I shall redress the balance a little by highlighting ten things I like about Vista.