Category: Humour


How not to spam a blog…


Some spam is ridiculously easy to spot. So, if you’re thinking of spamming this – or any other blog, here are a few tips…

  • Your name is not “real sex lesbians”. In fact, nobody’s name is “real sex lesbians”. I don’t even have to research this on Google to know it.
  • Your name is also not the name of your site, with all the words spelled properly and with spaces between them.
  • Don’t post six comments, two minutes apart, under different names, on different posts, using the same comment text and the same website address. Even if you have tried a different name.
  • Changing numbers for letters – spelling it “v1agra” or “c1al1s” doesn’t work. The last person it actually fooled then went on to paint an elaborately crafted angel until the bell rang for Vespers and got a clip round the ear from Abbot Knorfric, who reminded him that this is the 12th Century and we’re far too intelligent to fall for that old gag any more…
  • Speaking of which, I do not want or need a bigger “P3N15”, nor do I believe pills bought over the Internet would achieve it even if I did. And I’m not sure you’re a real doctor, either, now that I think about it…
  • If even your domain name isn’t suitable for children, but my blog is. Well, you do the math.
  • iPod or Zune? Good question. Just not remotely what I’ve discussed on any post on my blog, ever. Still, nice try…
  • You may not be able to add my blog in your RSS reader. But the four links to various “discount” shops for well known brands make me suspicious (“Louise Vuitton”? “Uggg Boots”? Pleeease…)

Well, I hope that’s made a few of you laugh. What we bloggers and webmasters have to put up with, eh?

Night night…


7 rules for effective computing


My own personal rules for effective computing:
1. Don’t buy anything with ‘Norton’ written on it, unless the next word is ‘Ghost’.
2. Don’t buy any program without consulting osliving.com. Open source is often faster, more effective, and doesn’t provide features you don’t need.
3. Half the computer companies are brands of another. Check who belongs to whom, then use Google Shopping to find the cheapest supplier. The product and warranty will be the same, just the price will be cheaper.
4. A 2GHz AMD processor is as fast as a 3GHz Intel, but costs less than a 2GHz Intel.
5. Memory is the cheapest, easiest, and most effective upgrade you’ll ever buy.
6. Most users don’t use anything most Linux distributions won’t give you for free.
7. Free antivirus is better than no antivirus at all, but the best antivirus money can buy is no substitute for common sense.


VB5: hindsight is golden…


Isn’t hindsight wonderful?  Just re-installed VB5 because there’s an old VB project I need to modify and saw this in the install screens…

vb5setup

“software that automatically downloads and installs on a user machine”.  Now who would ever have thought that could be a problem, eh?


Firefox easter eggs


Did you know if you type about:robots in Firefox’s URL bar, you get a nice screen. Try about:god as well. Oh, and don’t forget about:mozilla as well 🙂
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